God, you wanted me to write this blog. What do you want me to write about? YOU. God is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. He is my closest companion. The One who gives me constant strength to make it thru each and every day. Without Him I would be a mess. A confounded mess. Not knowing which direction to turn to. As a mom of 5 children that I home school my days are full of dirty dishes, crying kiddos, spills, fights, wrong answers, impatience, and chaos….but through Christ my days are full of thankfulness for dishes to clean because we have food on the table, sweet moments of wiping tears from cheeks and giving kisses and comfort, and bringing my children to Christ amidst all of the craziness and the chaos. Pointing them to the One who made them, who desires to know them, and the One who wants to be known thru a relationship with Him. This is the reason WHY I home school. God put this responsibility on my shoulders when these sweet babies were born. When He graciously gave me these gifts, these souls to minister to, to show the love of Christ to, to bring daily to Him. He is the One who has so clearly called me to home school.
Yet the struggle runs deep. I doubt myself daily. I see the holes. I see the sin. I see the attacks. I wrestle with so many feelings. So many more than I did when I was in the classroom teaching 25 kids that weren’t my own. I have skin in the game with my own children. The holes, the attacks, the sin are all personal. I see my heart walking around outside my body with these five kids. They are part of me and so the struggle is all the more real. My desire is for them to succeed and so my emotions run higher. My expectations are higher. So we continue to battle the sin. And we continue to fill in the holes….knowing that there are holes in EVERY education. I saw it in the schools I taught at. No education can fill every single hole. So I fall to my knees and ask the Lord to be the One to fill the holes. To cover what I cannot. And He is there. Always there. He is answering me saying, “It will be Ok.” “You are doing your best.” “I am a faithful God that will be with my covenant children from generation to generation.” His promises are true and I will rest in Him today knowing that He is a God that never fails.